How to Win Friends and Influence Your Enemies

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
(Proverbs 15:1)) "In all things give thanks for this is the will of God concerning you in Christ Jesus." (I Thessalonians 5:18)

As a small child this is a Bible verse I learned and have never forgotten, but I am still learning to practice it. I wish my tongue would cooperate as well as my memory. For me it is hard to answer softly to someone who is speaking harshly to me. I often listen to the defensive thoughts the enemy places in my mind – I am still working on this problem, and to be thankful "in" all things. I must remember God has permitted these circumstances to refine and grow me up into His perfect image. So I also thank God "for" all things (Eph.5:20. I must intentionally practice being thankful. This blesses God.

I have already written a blog on “Our Words,” “The tongue” and “Anger.” But this Proverb says it so truthfully and succinctly. I pray I will daily lay my tongue on the altar of forgiveness, love and humility and be intentional with all my answers. Practice speaking with a “soft answer”- you will make new friends and influence your enemies. Someone once said,“He who forgives ends the quarrel.” I have always heard, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Some of us would seldom say anything if we practiced that. I don't want to be a "Grumbalina." A Grumbalina is someone who is continually complaining or criticizing someone or something, one who has a negative attitude. No one likes to be around Grumbalina, she is depressing.

Instead, we can choose grins over gripes. We should be intentionally living with a joyful, positive attitude, looking for opportunities to bless someone by word or deed. By blessing others we bless Jesus. Look for ways to honor and refresh others with unselfish deeds and words. Living with this attitude we leave a lovely fragrance wherever we go with whomever we meet, and they will want to be around us and will seek our company. May we be a channel of blessing to flow to the hurting and negative people who can be changed by our loving ways.

Numbers eleven tells the story of a nation of Grumbalinas. The Children of Israel turned into "Grumbalinas" when they were in the wilderness. Instead of praising and thanking God because they had been delivered out of slavery and were heading toward their "promise land," they grumbled because of God's gracious provision, manna. They thought about the "good old days" of Egypt when they had fish,cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. (Boy, that makes me hungry just thinking of a good ol' onion to chew on :)! It would be funny if it weren't so sad that they couldn't enjoy heavenly food for thinking of the past garlic while in slavery.

We know one thing that displeases God and that is murmuring and grumbling. Verse one of Numbers eleven tells us that "their grumbling was evil in the ears of the Lord, His anger was kindled and He sent a fire that burned some." Grumbling is a grievous sin to God because it says, I am not happy with what God has given me; if He loved me He would give me just what I want. Grumbling is speaking loudly and clearly of doubt that God is going to make lemonade out of our lemons. It is a selfish outlook because everything is not going my way. Grumbling is all "self-centered." Grumbling is saying to God, and everyone, that we have forgotten where we once were and from what God has delivered us. Grumbalinas have gotten their eyes off Jesus and His goodness and the "promise land" to where He is leading us. When we change our focus to Jesus our attitude will change. This takes intentional practice but Jesus can help us, just ask.

Father, help us to change our focus to Jesus and from ourselves. Forgive us for every negative thought, word and deed and look ever to Jesus, for he will carry us through every wilderness, and we can have a smile and then we will bless Him and everyone else on the way to our "promise land.""


Take My Life and Let It Be
Frances R. Havergal

Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my moments and my days – let them flow in ceaseless praise,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise.

Take my voice and let me sing always, only, for my King;
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee.